If you had to decide between a diet and a piece of chocolate, would you prefer dark, white or milk chocolate?

Say your prayers little one Don't forget, my son To include everyone

According to my mirror I am pregnant. The father is Nutella.

If at first you don’t succeed . . . so much for skydiving

If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net without high speed Internet.

Life is too short to remove USB safely.

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.'

The four most beautiful words in our common language: 
I told you so.

Some say they own the planet... Stupid slaves

Can I haz some cheezburger?

I animated the smile of Chuck Norris and hits of Bruce Lee

I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!

My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer.

Why do nerds confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because OCT31=DEC25